Friends always encouraged me to write a blog. I resisted. I had no particular expertise I could share. I would be just another byte of internet pollution–a self-obsessed Millenial Yelp reviewer thinking my opinion meant something profound to the universe.
Things have changed.
Mainly, my friends changed and I haven’t.
The friends with whom I hit bars, brunch spots and beaches are now shuttling toddlers to nursery schools, swimming lessons and bitching about tyrannical nannies. The last of my single friends have married in a last minute race against their biological clocks. Even the career-oriented ambitious ones have applied their strategic planning and type-A personalities to the art and science of “We’re trying”–which sounds like an intimidating frequency of sex.
As the last one standing still having to deal with the carcass pool of single men (they’re single for a reason), and not particularly gung ho about having kids, I looked to the internet to see who else harbors socially unpopular stances and politically incorrect views on babies and marriage, but found nothing. “Surely, somebody out there must throw out baby announcements when they receive them in the mail?” Nothing. Pop in Google search term “Ambivalent about having babies” and the only hits I could find were women desperately seeking help on conceiving.
And for the first time, I found a raison d’etre for a blog. Now that I had no friends that I could relate to, I decided to go out to the public domain to see how many of my soul sisters are out there–the small band of truthsayers, a minority oppressed by societal norms and expectations. We hold our heads high in public and act like we own our independence (and we do, actually, most of the time), but once in a while, that inner voice doubts, “Is something wrong with me? Do I really not want kids? Is there anybody, anybody I can talk to?”