I have a circle of friends where three are childless, two recently gave birth, and one is currently pregnant. I’ve started noticing there’s a stark divide in the reactions between the haves and the have-nots.
Example 1-photo of a baby
Haves: S/he’s so beautiful.
Sans: Awww cutie.
I’ve run this by other sans. No sans ever thinks of a baby as beautiful. Babies are cute, adorable, and the word beautiful is reserved for sunsets and Angelina Jolie.
Example 2-items on a baby registry
Haves: GREAT! The giraffe lamp is SO cute!
Sans: I think the giraffe lamp would work.
Generally speaking, sans quickly skim through the baby registry, look at price points, click and be glad they got it over with. Or, if pooling in, responds after three reminders from the coordinator (a have) who’s weighed the pros and cons of each potential item comparing usefulness and how happy it would make the mother.
Example 3-photo of baby bump
Here, haves clearly have empathy EQ that the socially inept sans do not. But hey, how are we to know what to say if we’ve never experienced it?
Haves: You look radiant! That’s a cute bump style! How are you feeling?
Sans: Wow! You really are showing. So what are you gonna be for Halloween??